My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
