Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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