Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
