let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
