so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
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The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
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I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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