Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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