Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
