I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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