His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize