She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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