I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
