she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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