Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
just tell him i said nine months
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize