The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
