i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
