1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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