hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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