that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
