Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
