Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I want her autograph on my taint
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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