You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My bed smells like the plague
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
