i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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