You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
