he thought i was a dude.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I want a musical about memes.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
