when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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