Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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