these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wish life had little blips of pornography
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
