making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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