Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
