Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
