My room smells like vodka and shame
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
where are my eyebrows?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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