Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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