is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
