I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
