The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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