Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
