I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
As shirtless as possible
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
