So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
