You're completely useless in the revolution.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
