OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
this is an emotional support booty call
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
