today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
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I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
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I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We had sex on a dog bed..
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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