I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize