I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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