508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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