Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
