Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
