Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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