NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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