I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
