The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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