i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
