How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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