Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize