dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
