you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
