Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
