Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
