and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
