Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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