Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
