i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
